The Weirdest Festivals in the USA

by Nora B. Peevy

                I got to thinking this morning as I drank sixteen ounces of coffee: there must be some pretty weird festival traditions here in the states, and I let my little fingers guide me to the Google machine. Yep, I was not disappointed. Here’s my list of favorite festivals which are crazy, confusing, and yeah, something only Americans would do because we have a LOT of free time on our hands.

1) The Pensacola, Florida Dead Mullet Fish Toss Festival all started 35 years ago when the owner of the Florabama Beach Bar was chucking cow chips. He had the bright idea: Hey, people would love to chuck dead fish. We could make it a contest and have live bands and food. Fast forward 35 years and 1,500- over 3,000 dead mullets are being tossed over three days. The record toss is still held by a competitor in 2014 for 189 feet and 8 inches. Yep, this would only happen in Florida. What can I say? It’s Florida.

2) If you’re looking to start the party in a snowier climate you can attend a Potty Party at the Sapphire Valley Resort in North Carolina. There are some rules, though. You can’t just show up in any old Potty. A) You must show up in a team of three. B) You must all be in costume. C) Your Potty must have a theme. D) You must have toilet paper or an alternative wiping method available. E) There must be an actual hole for said “potty” to go into.”  F) Two people push the potty until it starts going downhill on its own. G) There must be a person, either the “King” or “Queen” of the throne. This sounds like a LOT of work. There are wheels, snow, pushing a large potty down a bunny hill. Nope. Not for me.

3) Enter The Lebowski Contest in Louisville commemorating the movie classic The Big Lebowski by the Coen Brothers. It’s in July, there’s a costume contest, unlimited bowling, a screening of the film, and of course, White Russians. Now this festival is more stylish. Who doesn’t love The Big Lebowski and bowling?

4) If a dude lookalike contest isn’t your thing, try this. In June you can participate in Avon’s Annual Duct Tape Festival in Ohio and make a float entirely out of duct tape. Yep. You heard me. A parade float made entirely from duct tape. I don’t see a problem with this one. It’s going to go fine. Everybody sign a waiver BEFORE they participate. It’ll be fine.

5) Get your cluck on in Wayne, Nebraska’s Wayne Chicken Show first held in 1981. It’s a fun way to get the community of Wayne together, but now the humor of the festival has attracted rural neighboring towns. It’s now a worldwide cluckononom might I say? Thousands of people attend. There is a chicken themed parade, a Clucktique market to find your favorite souvenir, a Spicy Wing Eating Contest, rent a chicken for the Chicken Crowing or Flying Contest, and even participate in the world’s largest Chicken Dance. The festival is in July, so get clucking.

6) On July 2 you can travel to Mugs Away Saloon in Laguna Niguel, California for “The Mooning of the Amtrak Cars” with all the other bored people who follow this tradition that nobody has any idea how it started or why it keeps happening, except it’s fun? On days Amtraks are packed you can be sure to see more butts. It’s a butt Mardis Gras with street vendors, wet t-shirt contests, and beads handed out.

7) I’m ashamed to say that in my state of Wisconsin in August you can participate in The Cow Chip Throw, but the rule is you CANNOT wear any gloves. There is food and arts and crafts, but the main event is chucking cow poop. The current record is 248 feet.

8) In Colorado in March, you can Celebrate Dead Guy Days. Yes, I said Dead Guy Days. What are Dead Guy Days? Well, I’ll be happy to tell you, reader. In 1989 a dude from Norway brought his dead grandfather to Nederland, Colorado. He was supposed to be cryogenically frozen, but the body decomposed and now the town has a festival called Dead Guy Days, which seems rather morbid and disrespectful to the poor guy’s granddaddy if you ask me. There’s a brain freeze contest, a Royal Blue Ball, where you can be crowned Grandpa Bredo or the Cold as Ice Queen, and there are even coffin races. Guess you’ll have to wait until next year to get your dead on.

9) Visit Pocahontas County, West Virginia in September for a weekend of gourmet roadkill tasting. Sample the best in roadkill cuisine. Acceptable entries are snake, deer, opossum, groundhog, rabbit, bear, crow, squirrel, and turkey. Yum. I’ll be sure to come hungry! Over 20,000 people come, and winners take home $1,200. It’s part of the Autumn Harvest Festival which includes arts and crafts and live entertainment while you snack too.

10) In Clute, Texas you can participate in the three-day festival in the month of July to honor the Great Texas Mosquito, created by the mosquito “Willie Man-Chew.” Or so that’s the urban legend. I don’t understand it. Over 13,000 people participate in a contest called Mosquito Legs to show off their bites and the winner is the most bitten. There is also a mosquito calling contest, which I’d like to see. Just how does one call a mosquito? For the more the less itchy people there’s a carnival and haystack dives. I think I will skip this one.

Which festival would you attend? Do you have one to add to the list? Comment below.

Nora B. Peevy is a cat trapped in a human’s body. Please send help or tuna. She has a Bachelor of Arts in English Degree with a Concentration in Creative Writing from Cardinal Stritch University and is an Olympic champion sleeper, toiling away for JournalStone/Trepidatio Publishing as a submissions reader and a reviewer for Hellnotes. She is also reading screenplays for the Lovecraft Film Festival again this year. Her first novelette, For the Sake of Brigid was released in May of 2024 and her first novel, Flesh Eating Turtles! will be coming out later this year. Her quirky stories are published in Eighth Tower Press, Weird Fiction Quarterly, Obsidian Butterfly, and other presses. You can find her on Facebook (as Onyx Brightwing), her blog, She Writes Fast | A blog for writers and readers (wordpress.com), and on Slasher as @Sekhautet. She naps in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.