The TV Shows That Shaped a Weirdo, by Devin M. Anderson

What was your favorite TV show growing up? The show that spoke to your soul and kept you coming back every week for more?

I had two shows that got me through some very challenging years in my life. Today, I’d like to properly acknowledge them.

First up is…

September 10th, 1993 marked the day that my young imagination would forever be changed. The X-Files premiered on Fox and blew my effing mind away. Not only did it include a strong female lead character, something I didn’t see often as a child, but it was about my favorite topics: monsters, aliens, and government conspiracy. I was hooked.

I looked up to agents Mulder and Scully as heroes. Spooky Mulder—in particular—was an outsider, just like I always felt. This made the duo extremely relatable. They encouraged me to be more outgoing, and to always look for the truth in life. They inspired the young artist in me, giving my monster doodles in the margins of schoolwork a particular vibrancy and life. Most of all, they inspired me to keep my chin up.

If they could survive all the horrors of the supernatural, surely I could survive a few bullies at school. Surely I could survive without my parents…

You see that very year I found myself thrust suddenly into the foster care system. My parents were both in prison, and I was left not fully understanding what had happened. Don’t get me wrong, my foster families were, and are, wonderful people, but they could only do so much for a boy who had so recently lost his family.

The X-Files became my escape from a life I didn’t even recognize anymore. It reminded me that there was adventure in this world if you were brave enough to seek it out. It inspired not just my art, but my dreams, too. It kept me sane. They were like my fictional big brother and sister every Friday night at 9 PM sharp.

Some people would call this escapism, losing oneself in a television show like some kind of clingy fanboy. I didn’t care; I’d found my niche. Sci-fi and horror would follow me (or would I follow it?) for the rest of my days… and get me through some very low times.

Then on March 10th, 1997, a new show would come along and help fill a void I thought would never be filled. By that time, I was living with my mother again, who had been released from prison. What I still lacked was a present father figure. Whereas my father and I corresponded through letters and timed/monitored phone calls, I was the man of the house. (Big responsibility for a boy barely in his teens.) It was then that Buffy the Vampire Slayer unveiled itself onto the world… to my absolute delight.

I was instantly obsessed. The witty banter, believable characters, strong female lead, and of course the monster of the week kept me hungry for more.

Best of all, there was Giles, Buffy’s watcher and father figure on the show. Giles (while initially presented as a bumbling librarian) follows a long character arch that evolves him into a total badass. His advice to Buffy felt so often as if it were written for me. He became like a father to me in that way, while my own father was unable to be in my life physically.

Giles taught me, among many things, that there is no true failure as long as you’re still breathing. You can always pick yourself up off the floor and try again. He taught me about perseverance, tenacity, and honesty. He taught me that you don’t have to act like a manly man to be a good man. Let me repeat that one, because it’s important: You don’t have to act “manly” to be a man.

Toxic masculinity was used as an example in many Buffy episodes. I think a lot of who I am today was shaped in part by that character and his impact on Buffy. In fact, I can honestly say that Buffy the Vampire Slayer probably saved my life as a teenager struggling with a mental illnesses that wouldn’t be correctly diagnosed until my 40s. Struggling with a broken family life, and poverty. Struggling with being a teenager in general, and figuring out what kind of man I wanted to be.

I am reminded of two quotes from the show that have stuck with me. The first is from Season 2 – Episode 19, ‘I only have eyes for you’:

Giles: “To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It’s not done because people deserve it. It’s done because they need it.”

The second quote is my favorite from the entire show. Season 2 – Episode 7. Buffy asks Giles to console her on the loss of her childhood friend to betrayal and vampires:

Giles: “What do you want me to say?”

Buffy: “Lie to me.”

Giles: “Yes. It’s terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true. The bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies and… everybody lives happily ever after.”

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Buffy & X-Files both inspired and completed me as a young man. They filled the void of a broken childhood with positivity. Even if I’d had a shitty day or week, I could always count on Buffy and her friends, or Mulder and Scully, to bring me back from the brink.

Now that’s good television, the kind that lifts up your dreams, and says this life is worth living. I can only hope that every struggling young person finds their Giles when they need him, a Mulder to believe in you, a Scully to challenge you, and a Buffy/Scooby gang to call your friends, even if it’s only one hour a week, minus commercials.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Devin M. Anderson is a writer, poet, and stay-at-home dad to two beautifully brilliant autistic kiddos. A mental health advocate, he himself battles with Borderline Personality Disorder, and PTSD. Balancing between psychosis and depression, he writes to combat the voices in his head. His work has previously been featured in the anthology Hotel Macabre vol.1, the anthology Sleeve of Hearts, The Horror Zine Magazine’s Spring 2025 issue, and multiple appearances in Alien Buddha Zine. To find more by Devin check out his author page at: https://devmanderson.wordpress.com

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